a good reason for our bad colds
In doing some thinking recently about the direction I want to take with this blog, I decided to treat myself to a session with the talented and smart blog consultant Anna of ABDPBT. She prepared a detailed report with suggestions for branding, the blog’s story “hook” and many other interesting insights we discussed at length during a follow up phone consultation. It is such a pleasure to talk with Anna. As a passionate blogger herself she “gets” bloggers. It is like getting a blog massage. Trust me.
the black bees love it
Anna sees this blog as essentially a retirement blog in that it describes a process of discovering who I really am now that I have time to think about it and explore different possibilities.
And the original theme of this blog, personal finance, ties in nicely with a personal quest in that it serves as a metaphor for all of life, including the current post-work transition, because in sorting out one’s financial picture, you have to set priorities. To set them, you need to know what is important to you, and to know what is important you have to know yourself — understand your values. To know your values, you have to have some notion of the ultimate meaning of human life — at least of your own life.
I like this idea of the blog being a personal quest that deals with the topic of personal finance in terms of how the journey of self and one’s financial choices affect and inform each other.
At the moment, I am seeking both the meaning and importance of personal style in my life and am finding the process fascinating on many levels, including its place in my broader financial picture.
This seeking quality isn’t new.
As a child, I found myself seeking meaning in the midst of chaos and in seeking became more aware of my thoughts and behavior as well as the thoughts and behavior of other people. This heightened awareness and seeking improved my ability to make judgments and decisions that served me well in becoming an adult. Not always. There were some disastrous errors of judgment along the way, but I got better at it.
Awareness belongs on the bullet list of qualities and experiences I think helped me deal with the past:
This hyper awareness tends to focus in on one thing at time — right now it’s personal style — and become a kind of lens through which I see everything else.
In a previous post exploring a theory of fashion, I wondered if fashion is really all about rivalry and desire. I don’t think it is, but it does present its own form of moral hazard, as do all social constructs.
My friend Anne, after reading that post, reminded me of when we were young and I socked away savings for the future while she blew money on clothes, like the ant and the grasshopper!
That’s not quite fair, to either of us, but probably does get at the heart of our difference in orientation. It’s a subtle difference. I would describe myself as an ascetical aesthete whereas I would describe her as an aesthete with asceticism informing her style. Bottom line: she thinks both of us would be plotted somewhere in the lower left quadrant of this graph, right where I placed elegance and allure.
Anne knows I am passionate about art and beauty, and she is too, but she also has great style. (I wish I could convince her to be interviewed on my blog so you could see what I mean.)
For me, the ant still mostly rules, but sometimes the grasshopper comes out, like when I try on new things that look attractive and stylish and I can’t help smiling!
Like in this picture, though the expression is more of a chin-jutted-out-worry whether the photo will come out than a smile.
I hope you can see the lovely details of my new fantastic Zebra Stud earrings by Wendy Brandes!
Zebra Stud earrings from WendyB
In case you can’t see the details, here’s a close up.
Zebra Stud Earrings by Wendy Brandes -- Gorgeous!
There’s another new item from WendyB but it needs an adjustment — I’ll model it when it comes back.
Recently Pseu of Une femme d’un certain age wrote a post about good raincoats for travel and she mentioned a sale at Land’s End on a nice microfiber raincoat. Look at this wonderful garment!
Macintosh -- Land's End and WendyB pose!
I love the concealed button placket front.
This new beautiful rain coat made me realize how ugly this white one is. The white jacket will be donated to the church thrift store.
you can't see the buttons -- very smooth -- WendyB pose!
Pseu wrote another post featuring this Eileen Fisher cardigan and I loved it so much I ordered one.
love this cardigan and new black nydj's -- WendyB pose!
Lastly, here’s a V1207 dress update.
fully lined bodice, back view
The pins are keeping the fabric flat in lieu of under-stitching and the seams are basted, not stitched, so that I can try the bodice on Miss R. and verify that she needs all of the back extension I added.
pattern extension for Miss R.'s broad back
back close up
bodice front -- sleeves have lining and interfacing support for structure
front close up
One issue in sewing for Miss R. is access. She’s working full time and is also in graduate school pursuing a double teaching credential in English and Special Education. Busy.
But, this coming Sunday she’s attending a tenor recital we’re hosting for this fantastic tenor, formerly our choir tenor section lead, so hopefully there will be enough time to try the bodice on Miss R. and take notes re: fitting before the show begins.
In closing, how do you balance style and personal finance goals?
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
“…As a child, I found myself seeking meaning in the midst of chaos and in seeking became more aware of my thoughts and behavior as well as the thoughts and behavior of other people…”
I have found that I was more aware of my authentic self when I was a child, I was more aware of it and more certain of it. And when I can take myself back to that certainty, that core, everything else seems to feel right – including my style/fashion choices.
I really enjoyed this post Susan.
Thank you Jennifer. It’s perplexing that we lose our sense of authenticity as we encounter “adult” realities.
I did have more of a sense of certainty as a child.
Hmm, I’m wondering if I need a blogger consult–but then I’m not retired yet. Believe it or not, a previous incarnation of Rags concerned frugality! I love all of your beautiful NEW items, especially the earrings.
Hi Terri, Anna is totally affordable, and worth it, in my opinion, if you’re needing some input!
WendyB is the bee’s knees! LOVE her.
Love the earrings and coat—the dress is coming along so well, too! Go you.
Balancing style and finance goals–great question. I am trying to just live with less, less clutter, etc, but I’m bad at applying this to clothing. I find that there are some items I keep buying that are almost identical…I have 3 aqua puff-sleeve sweaters, 4 scoop-neck pink tops….so weird. I am trying to stop doing that (I’m consistently attracted to the same kinds of stuff!).
Hannah, it takes constant diligence, staying low key, yet also keeping our spark alive.
Your poems speak to the ascetic/aesthetic razor edge. I like the challenge!
So glad you’re enjoying the earrings! I had a feeling I should have pushed you towards an 18″ chain for the necklace…darn.
No darn, just an adjustment.
The zebra earrings rock!
Ooh, Wendy B earrings, so cool!!
So glad the jacket and cardigan work for you. And I love the fabric on the dress. How wonderful that you treated yourself to a blog consultation!
It’s not easy balancing the ant and grasshopper parts of ourselves. You seem to be finding a good balance.
Thanks Pseu. I’m so glad you don’t mind me dressing exactly like you. I’m really not that lazy, just love your selections!
I’m so glad you enjoyed the consult — it was good to get a chance to talk to you. I think the blog is really going in an exciting direction and am looking forward to watching what happens next.
Thank you Anna! Please feel free to quote me on your blog or I can write another blurb if you like.
I wouldn’t have been able to put it into words before I read it just now, but I totally agree with Anna’s description.
The way I balance personal finance and style right now is to dress in super-cheap stuff and not really give a crap about style. I’m home 95% of the time, though, and the other 5% I’m at preschool dropoff, Walgreen’s, or Trader Joe’s. So nobody cares.
Kerry, I so relate.
Before this new quest, I didn’t care at all about style, but did care about dressing appropriately, and well, competitively for work. I dressed and acted like I meant business!
I’ll never forget my original Adobe interview, for which I dressed, thinking I probably ought to dress down, as I had done for my typical work day at General Electric, Corporate Research and Development — not an interview suit (though I did often wear formal suits) but a tasteful dress, pantyhose and heels — and was told, after the hire handshake, that I needed to lose that “back East corporate formality.”
That was 1990. I got with the T-shirts and jeans program pronto!
So, I get your point totally, and besides, you’ve got little kids. In those days — of raising little kids — I was just glad to survive most days let alone look good. The thing is, you’re still young and gorgeous — you may not think so but you are. Once you get into my age territory, the phrase “making an effort” takes on a whole new level of meaning.
These days “balancing personal finance and style” is not high on my list of priorities, which can be shown in my latest clothing purchase — a black t-shirt from Goodwill that cost a monster $2.69. Actually though it does have style – it’s Italian with that wonderfully soft European cotton and on the front — a sun medallion in gold and silver thread.
I bought a black microfiber raincoat ages ago and its an AMAZING fabric. You can pummel it to death and it still looks brand-new fresh.
I see you have the luv plug-in for current posts. Was thinking about adding that once I get around to also adding the code for followup comments via e-mail, but I’m a true slow poke (and chicken) in the code department.
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The sun medallion sounds pretty. I tend not to like decorative elements on my tops. Not sure why. I like variation in texture though.
I know what you mean about making style a priority. It’s hard, but I see some positive benefits.
Microfiber is the most amazing invention since sliced bread!
It’s hard to make time to fuss with WordPress plug-ins. I’m amazed I got the comment luv working and also figured out the gravatars!
well, i may be the gal you posted that last question for. i’m lusting after a very small handful of items that amount to…an awful lot. a prohibitive amount really.
i love the things that i love, whether it’s an $8 vase that is perfect, or a $16 linen dish towel that makes me happy, or a homemade knit-and-fulled pen cup, a homemade skirt, $30 jeans, or $xxx shoes. my point is, my taste is not always out of line with my budget, but sometimes it is. i love objects that are just right, that speak to me, and then can also turn around and express something that is in me. my passion for a shirt or a shoe is no different than my feelings for my sewing machine (ancient singer featherweight), an enamel bread box, a needlepoint pillow, etc.
it feels very special to find clothing that meets all of my criteria (quality, fit, design), which makes me a little vulnerable when the “buy” impulse is tempered by sticker shock. unlike the other objects i have, clothing has a more intimate relationship with me – it goes out with me during the day, unlike my rosewood candlesticks. it goes on my body, so i’m touching it, and it me, all day, unlike a favorite pen. because of this, i do, in turn, value it above most other objects.
how do i balance then, wanting something i can’t afford? it’s a combo of guilt and resentment/greed, and we wait and see which side wins in the end, or if either side wins before the item is sold out.
but this issue is rare because for the most part i have taste that does match my financial abilities, which really makes sense, if my financial abilities are the result of who i am, just as much as my taste is.
It’s interesting that you see wanting something you can’t afford as a combination guilt and resentment/greed. This is probably not uncommon but for me the question is more one of balancing asceticism and aestheticism. I tend towards asceticism — do not want things I cannot afford. Like you, I love the things I love, yet they tend to be external objects, not clothes. I seem to be missing a fundamental desire most women have for beautiful clothes or perhaps it got wrung out of me after so many years of taking a minimalist approach. It’s not that I don’t love clothes as I enjoyed dressing my children and love admiring clothes on other women and men in my life.
As for taste matching financial abilities I see what you mean about those matching because both stem from who you are as a person and yet what I was getting at in balancing style and financial goals has more to do with priorities than abilities. Having enough money to afford one’s taste is certainly preferable to not having enough and yet it doesn’t automatically mean that taste in home decor and clothes should take priority over other financial goals.
For me, and I think also for Martin (my unmarried partner), the house and gardens are the highest priority, followed by the kitchen and cooking, then music, reading and sewing. That’s just in terms of stuff. We value time above all. Looking well has its place, but doesn’t seem to be a high priority.
And yet we love quality, fit and design — this drives the sewing interest!
I am going to ponder your thoughts about clothing having a intimate relationship with oneself.
On balancing style and personal finance–I have always been able to work within a budget–and style has nothing to do with money. From clothes to artwork, there is always something beautiful to be had on the cheap. And it was my motivation for sewing too!
Love the way the dress is coming along and that wisteria is a masterpeice.
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Paula, you must feel good about being able to work within a budget! I wish it were true that style has nothing to do with money, but I think it’s difficult for some people to achieve style inexpensively. You and Terri are both quite slim and, as far as I can tell, well proportioned, but some of us are neither and also have unique fit issues, in my case both a broad back and wide shoe size. Sewing can solve the clothing fit issues, but it takes time, especially when one’s daughter wants Mom to sew things for her too :-). The wide shoe size is a terrible thing to deal with — the choices are extremely limited. I just read in The Power of Style that Diana Vreeland had her shoes custom-made. Now that is a luxury I wish I could afford!
I’m not ready to answer this big question right now, what with unpacking and dealing with jet lag and sorting through accumulated mail, etc., but it’s certainly a relevant one to think about as the travel charges dominate this month’s credit card statement. I’m also interested in your efforts to focus the direction of your blog, something I’ve been thinking of doing for myself. Your new duds look book practical and stylish . . . and that dress is going to be lovely!
Mater, you have my sympathy — we always get sticker shock after vacations!
As for direction, I plan to write more about that next week.
Rest up and relax :-).